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letscauseuhscene
read my profile sign my guestbook Name: Car-uh Birthday: 10/31/1990 Gender: Female Message: message me Website: visit my website AIM: wondurrbred Member Since: 1/1/2007

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Blogrings (10 of 17)

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Friday, March 13, 2009

and you know what?
i don't care what you say about him. i love him. i always will.
whether he loves me back or not, he will forever remain in my
heart. because once you feel so strongly about someone, it's
hard to forget them,or to forget the feeling.sure,he's not mine.
probably never will be.     he doesn't really like me that much.
but i'll never give up. i'll never stop believing.    i mean, all it
took was one look into his beautiful eyes. & to be honest,i fell
in love with a total stranger. but sometimes, you just know.you
know when it's real,when it's true.& that kind of love never,ever
fades,no matter what.all i can hope for is one chance.just one
chance for him to get to know me better, one chance to see if
he likes me as much as i love him. one chance is all i want,all
i need, because i know, there's a part of me that will be in love
with him for the rest of my life...... this day after day heartbreak
seems endless. please, just give me       <3      [ one chance ]

2:10 AM - 16 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Friday, October 17, 2008

i was looking at my myspace and everyone's doing those "twenty people" things.
i wanted to start mine and then realized i'd come up short. how pathetic is that. i don't have twenty people? i mean, i have friends. but i have my boyfriend, my best friend, my ex boyfriend, and like three or four close friends. other than that, people are replaceable to me. i don't really make attachments. i have people from my old school, people i sort of knew but not really two years ago. i have my 'ex best friends' who never gave a shit after i changed schools, even if i live in the same goddamn town. they wonder why i hate coming home. i just can't trust people or like people enough to get close to them, i'm the person who puts up walls because maybe i just don't care? maybe i'm just too lazy to make an effort? sometimes i feel like even my best friend doesn't even know me....

how pathetic is that?
i don't even have twenty people in my life.
that's fantastic.
a real self esteem booster.

10:32 PM - 18 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Thursday, October 02, 2008

can't stop it now

he's leaving
before graduation
i'll be alone all summer, without anyone here at home.
leaving a week before our two year.
we wont talk for a little over 2 months, at all. and the next time i'll see him?
prob. christmas.
for the next 6 years.
now the fuck do i deal with shit like that?

i was a mess for days when i found out i'd lose him in april.
a mess
i cried probably every period of class and then some.
over reacting? maybe.
but he saved me, he picked me up when i didnt think i'd make it.
i would be in such a bad spot right now if it wasnt for him.
and my graduation tears me up the most,i wont even be talking to him then.
he was there when it started, and kept me there. it's only right for him to be there when it ends, and he won't be.

so yeah, maybe i'm overeating. but when you fork over your heart like i have, and then you won't see the other half of you for a long time, it's hard. he's going away. i'm not me without him, he makes me a better person. can i face the type of person i am when he's gone?

god i fucking miss you already kid. <3

on repeat; "tshirt by shontelle"

11:25 PM - 7 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

how do you live with knowing your boyfriend isn't going to be around for your senior valentines day
your senior prom
your graduation.

and after january 1st, the next five years you only get to see him for the month of december.
out of 12 months, you get to see him 1
out of 60 months, you get to see him five of those
and not even that, since you have to share him.

how do you deal with that sort of knowledge?

3:02 PM - 20 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

he drives me nuts
sometimes i almost could hate him

i hate how he snaps at me when i snap at him
i remember when it was all so easy.

he can't dance.
he can't carry a tune.
he doesn't know that bennifer came before brangelina
he doesn't understand that no one wears ae anymore.

he doesn't understand my infatuation with balenciaga bags.
and why only the expensive jeans fit my curves.

he tries so hard to be someone he isn't sure how to be.
he argues with me because he doesn't know how to talk about his problems.
he always leaves me waiting. because he can never be on time
he doesn't grasp the concept of "call me to let me know."

i don't get why he likes to leave, why he feels the need to be a super hero.
i'm so hot and cold, i can't stand it when he can't explain every single detail
he's too relaxed, and i'm too uptight.

i can't stand it when he's right, or when he tries to pull me in.
sometimes i don't think i can stand it anymore.

and then the amazing happens.

we'll be sitting and doing nothing. and out of nowhere he'll grab my hand, turn it over, and the back of it.
and more than once i've caught him looking at me. he's smiling all to himself, looking at me like i'm the greatest thing in the entire world and he's the luckiest man ever.
i blush, and turn my face away. he just smiles even more. it's terrifying.

and at the end of the night, i want to fall into his arms. i want him. i want him close, near, i want to feel his pulse next to me. i don't just want some random warm body, i want my awkward, annoying, stupid boyfriend who causes me agony and takes it right back away. all i want is him.

11:44 PM - 22 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

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